YJ BodySwappin' Day
by Alowl
Summary: What happens when all of YJ switch bodies?


Why Me? Or The YJ Body Swappin' Day.  
  
I got the idea from an X-Men fanfic. Most of the ideas are my own, except for a few from other stories. And, yeah, none of the characters are mine, they belong to DC. Screaming Zombie Ninjas is from a series of books called The Wizard of 4th Street. I'm not making any money from this.  
This is my first story, so please be kind!  
Reviews appreciated.  
  
The Supercycle of Young Justice flew above the treetops. One could almost hear the talk of the mighty heroes-in-training inside..  
  
"Stop shoving!"  
  
"Is it my fault I want to get this fixed quickly?!"  
  
"Jeez, I really hope that Bats can figure out a cure for this."  
  
"For once, we agree, Kid!"  
  
"This is soo cool!"  
  
"SHUT UP, BART!"  
  
"How do you work this staff-thingy?"  
  
"How do you wear your fraggin' uniform?"  
  
"QUIET!"  
  
"Yes, Imp.., Rob?"  
  
"Someone come over here and tell the Cycle to pay attention to me!"  
  
"Remember, we locked Bart out of the system? And now that.."  
  
"Great. You come over here then and tell it to pay attention to me!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because it's me that knows where the Batcave is!"  
  
"Okay, okay! Supercycle, give Impulse control of the system until further notice."  
  
"Thank you!"  
  
Yes, indeed, our heroes had trouble.  
  
"Um..hello?"  
  
The voice echoed in the gigantic, bat-filled cave. Which was totally empty.  
  
"Batman? Are you here?"  
  
"I thought I told you never to bother me again, Impulse!"  
  
The teen gave out a strangled squeak as he was suddenly confronted by a very angry Batman. "Um..hi. And weird as it may seem, sir, actually, I'm Robin. "  
  
"I don't have time for this."  
  
"Okay. Your name is Bruce Wayne. Dick's Nightwing, Oracle's Babs, Alfie's favorite snack food is sardines."  
  
The caped crusader stopped in mid-stride. He slowly turned around.  
  
"Robin could have told you that."  
  
"The security code for the Batmobile is six-six-one-two-four-eight."  
  
Batman took a deep breath. "Okay. What's Robin's real name?"  
  
"Tim Drake. Though Alfie keeps calling me Timothy.."  
  
"And what was the outcome of the prank war Robin and Nightwing had a year or so ago?"  
  
Impulse's face scowled. "Dick waylaid me in the Joker's old warehouse, dumped me in ice water, and stole my clothes. Did you have to remind me of it?"  
  
Batman stepped forward and looked into yellow eyes.  
  
"Robin?!!"  
  
"Why don't you tell me exactly what happened?"  
  
Young Justice was sprawled all over the Batcave. Superboy kept flying through the air, yelling out questions at Robin every once in a while.  
  
"Well, sir," began Impulse, "We had just gotten Bart's spaceship back. The Myrgs were kind enough to equip it with some extra technology. When we got to our HQ, we set about finding out what it was.  
  
"There was the usual stuff..universal translator, enhanced tracers, and other things. Impulse started experimenting with an item. Apparently, he had created it from scraps and pieces of spare parts from the other machines..  
  
"He activated it, and to make a long story short, we all ended up switching bodies."  
  
Batman shook his head. "And then you came here?"  
  
Robin, or his body, broke in. "The Boy Wonder figured that you'd probably be able to figure it out." He nodded at what looked like a bunch of random wires and circuitry they had brought with them. "And no way am I going to see Kal when I'm in this body!"  
  
"Superboy?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm stuck in Rob's body!"  
  
"Count your blessings. At least you aren't in Impulse's body!"  
  
"Yeah. The little creep is in mine!"  
  
The body in question finally touched the cave floor. "Hiya, Batman! Kon, how do you work your tactile TK?"  
  
The masked figure glared. "I'm not gonna tell you. And be careful with my body! If you hurt it."  
  
"At least you guys are all in bodies of your own sex! I'm stuck in Lobo's!"  
  
"I figured you'd like bein' in it, frail!"  
  
"The name's Wondergirl, and I hate it!"  
  
"Your body is cool, Anita!"  
  
"Yours is certainly.different, Suzie."  
  
If Batman weren't wearing a mask, you would have seen his face caught in a mixture of amusement and concern as he bent to examine the switching- machine. The teens continued to argue as he work on it.  
  
"Your body is so lame!"  
  
"It's better then yours!"  
  
"Robin! I leaned my hand on the thing and the screen lit up!"  
  
"Just press the off button."  
  
"First things first. Any games on here?"  
  
"I can fly! I can fly!"  
"Stop imitating Peter Pan, Bart!"  
  
"Ow!"  
  
"If you've hurt my body."  
  
"Cool it! Boys.."  
  
"You're not one to talk now, Cassie!"  
  
"Don't remind me!"  
  
"How do you teleport?"  
  
"What's this button do?"  
  
"How do you solidify?"  
  
"No! No! Don't press that!"  
  
"The top teen is starvin'! What's there to eat here?"  
  
"Oops."  
  
"Oh no."  
  
The screen in the Batcave lit up. Superman's face appeared on the monitor.  
  
"What's wrong, Batman? We picked up an emergency signal!"  
  
Batman looked up. Robin's body appeared frozen. The others all stared at him.  
  
Superman frowned. "Why is Superboy flying around like that?"  
  
Batman sighed. "That's not Superboy. That's Impulse."  
  
"WHAT!!??"  
  
It took a while to explain.  
  
"So," said Superman, "You're telling me that all of YJ have switched bodies?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Which one is Kon?"  
  
Everyone looked at Robin.  
  
Superman stared. "Kon?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"That's answer enough for me. The JLA will be right down. Maybe we can help you with that machine."  
  
His face vanished from the screen.  
  
"Oh, no. Supes I can stand seeing me like this, but Flash? Green Lantern?"  
  
Off screen, there was a yell of "WHAT!" from several throats at once.  
  
As the teleporters in the Batcave became suddenly full, an argument could be heard.  
  
".He has got to be joking!"  
  
"Batman doesn't joke."  
  
"Don't I know it. But Impulse in Superboy's body?"  
  
Flash and Wonder Woman came into view from around the corner. They stopped dead at the sight of Superboy walking on the ceiling and Impulse apparently debating something rationally with Robin.  
  
"No, you can't use the Batplane to get out of here before Superman arrives. And you can't borrow the Batmobile either."  
  
Robin's body pouted. "Ah, man! I'll never be able to live it down if.hi, Flash! Hi, Wonder Woman!"  
  
At the word "Flash", Superboy dropped from the ceiling and landed awkwardly on the floor. "Hi, Wally! This is great, being in Kon's body, he's really strong and can fly! Look!"  
  
As Superboy rose off the floor, Impulse walked up to the visitors at normal speed. "Hello, Flash. Welcome, Wonder Woman."  
  
The Flash gave him a suspicious look. "Okay, Bartholomew Allen. You have one second to explain why you are playing this joke, your use of normal speed notwithstanding."  
  
Impulse was seemingly interrupted by Robin sitting up and yelling at Superboy, "Your name is Bartholomew?!!"  
  
Superboy landed once more. "Is it? I never asked." He cocked his head curiously at Wally. "You never told me it was!" He looked disappointed. "I always thought it stood for Being Awful Respecting Teachers. That's what Max said it was!"  
  
Flash looked about ready to shake him when Impulse interrupted. "Take my word for it. I'm Robin, in his body, and that's Bart in Kon's.  
  
Flash looked as though he was biting into a lemon. "It figures." He drew himself up straight, and looked sternly at Superboy. "No more flying, or it's no Screaming Zombie Ninjas for a month!"  
  
Superboy immediately looked cowed. Wonder Woman looked at Flash. "Screaming Zombie Ninjas?"  
  
"Don't ask."  
  
"I won't." She looked around. "Cassie?"  
  
Wondergirl's body came sauntering up. "She's over there, behind the computer. The frail said something about not wantin' you to see her. She won't even let me have a fraggin' cigarette!" She/He stalked off.  
  
"Who was that?"  
  
"Lobo."  
  
"Hera, give me strength." Wonder Woman walked over behind the computer.  
  
The teleporters hummed again. This time, Superman and J'onn came out.  
  
Robin froze, and scuttled behind the Flash. "Don't let him see me!"  
  
"He's got telescopic vision, remember?"  
  
"Yeah, but he doesn't use it much!"  
  
"You're right, I don't, but you forgot about my super-hearing." The baritone voice froze Robin in his tracks.  
  
"Oh, man."  
  
"May I ask why you were playing around with the Bat-computer, Kon-El?"  
  
"Well, Kal, I was just.that is, I was only."  
  
"He doesn't seem to be phased by it." Impulse quietly commented to Flash.  
  
"That's because Supes has undergone to many alterations himself then to be disturbed by ones in others."  
  
Meanwhile, Robin was trying to wiggle his way out of trouble. "I was just looking for a game! I wanted to distract myself! I would even have enjoyed a Solitaire game, or Tetris!"  
  
"That doesn't excuse you from..  
  
J'onn had joined Batman by the switcher-machine. "Perhaps, with my X-ray vision, I might be able to help."  
  
"Go ahead." Said the Dark Knight, moving aside. "I'll take any help I can get."  
  
J'onn blinked with surprise. "I must say, this is quite a change from your usual attitude."  
  
Batman sighed. "You haven't been dealing with this lot for the last half-hour."  
  
"Point taken."  
  
Secret and Empress were watching Robin being chewed up by the Man of Steel, occasionally commenting to each other.  
  
"Anita, does your father do that to you?"  
  
"I'm afraid he does, sometimes."  
  
"I wish I had a father who would chew me out."  
  
Green Lantern was the last to arrive. "Aquaman's on monitor duty. Said he didn't want to come down here. You couldn't keep me away!"  
  
The first thing that met his eyes was Superboy, apparently trying to run through the walls. Cassie and Robin were trying to beat each other up, while Empress was kissing Impulse.  
  
"Since I'm solid, I'm going to enjoy this while it lasts!"  
  
"Secret.UMP!"  
  
"Hey! Anita's body likes mine best!"  
  
"Shut up, Lobo!"  
  
"Yeah, come back here, you coward!"  
  
"Yah dare call the top teen a coward? You're gonna die!"  
  
"Diana, how can I stand this?"  
  
"You must endure, Wondergirl. It will all be over soon, I promise you."  
  
Secret floated up. "You poor thing. At least I got Secret's body, while you're stuck in Lobo's!"  
  
Green Lantern looked stunned. Then he started matching people up in his head. Then he started to smile.  
  
"Superboy and Robin? Lobo and Wondergirl? Secret and Empress? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
Everyone stopped what he or she was doing to stare at him.  
  
"Oh, excuse me."  
  
Green Lantern created a dome of green energy around him.  
  
"What's he doing?" Cassie asked J'onn.  
  
The Martin concentrated. "Apparently laughing himself silly inside a sound-proof dome."  
  
"Oh. Shouldn't have asked."  
  
It was two hours later. Batman wiped sweat from his face. The Batcave was a mess. The dinosaur was on it's side, the giant penny on the ceiling, and the remains of a picnic strewn everywhere. Encouraged to work fast by the teen's whining and groaning, he and the rest of the League had worked non-stop to fix the Switcher, or the #@*$^, as it had been christened.  
  
"Okay, YJ. Stand in front of this machine, and it should transfer you to your own bodies once more."  
  
"About time!"  
  
"Gangway!"  
  
"Wait for me!"  
  
"Body, here I come!"  
  
There was a tense silence as Batman activated the Switcher. A ray of green energy leaped out to envelop the young heroes.  
  
Leaving them precisely as they were.  
  
"Did it work?" Diana asked.  
  
Cassie looked down. "I'm in my own body again! Yes!"  
  
"Thank you, God!"  
  
"Boy, it sure is good to be able togetuptospeed.."  
  
"Bart! Come back here!"  
  
"Glory, glory hallelujah."  
  
"I never knew how much I liked you, Secret!"  
  
"Oh, Robin."  
  
Batman sighed in relief. Everyone was celebrating, except for Lobo, who stood all alone.  
  
"What's the matter, Lobo?"  
  
"Lobo? I'm not Lobo."  
  
Batman fainted.  
  
Everyone looked at Lobo. He shrugged. "I thought it was fraggin' funny, all right?" 


End file.
